I have exactly the same problem. I also tried to update the referenced object, but instead of updating the child table and its foreign key with existing record in parent table, a new record was added to it.
Very strange. I now it has more to do with Linq rather then Devexpress components, stil I have no idea how to handle this, so I want ask here. And what I cant understand is that in many other projects I worked on, I could update my object by assigning a value to the foreign key without any problems, until now...
Please help...